The phone rang, I had just made a cup of tea and got back into bed, my legs were killing me. ‘Can you answer the door please?’ I thought that was odd as I was just stood by it and no one had knocked…’sure’. So I opened the door and no one was there, it was too simple to be a prank call, my stomach turned, whats going on? I was just about to close the door when two police women came running round the corner. ‘Can we come in?’, I feel still so guilty for thinking, ooh whats he done, have they chased him home? Hes never been in trouble in his life, but I think it was because what they were going to say was never even a thought in my head.
‘Is your son Jamie Marshall?’ my stomach turned, I said yes and I asked why…’He’s in a critical condition, we have to get you to Huddersfield Royal.’ I’m stood in my pjs as I was in that much pain I was going to be in bed all day, I couldn’t feel any of that anymore, I felt nothing except desperate to be at the hospital. They told me to go get changed and one of them would bring the car round as they had been knocking at the wrong address…that’s why I didn’t hear them.
I got upstairs grabbed whatever was on the floor from the day before, my phone charger and a handful of my meds. I got downstairs in minutes, both officers were stood in the living room they turned to look at me when I got to the door…we are sorry but Jamie has died. I couldn’t understand what they were saying, it was like they were speaking in a different language. What was I meant to do, what was I meant to say? You see it in films and there’s instant tears and emotional words but there was nothing, I don’t even think I was breathing. I had to get out of the house, I needed air, I needed to get away from them. Then my phone rang, it was my dad. I answered, his cheery voice said ‘Hey up shit hot!’ I had saved myself in his phone some time ago so it was always how he answered. I started heaving, he could hear I wasn’t right, ‘What’s going on?’ I couldn’t speak, I didn’t want to say those words, I didn’t want it to be real and saying it, telling my dad, that would make it real. But I did, because I had to as he had asked over and over what was going on…between heaving I managed to get out the words. I told him I was going to be taken to the hospital by the police and could he meet me there.
As there was a police car on the front and by this time I was on my hands and knees on the front with the officers stood around me my next door neighbour had come out. ‘What’s happened Anne?’ I couldn’t say it again, I couldn’t even move, one of the officers asked if she was ok to tell her, I managed a yes. I could hear her howl a no, no thats not right, it cant be, she was shouting me as I stood up and walked to the car. I just wanted to get to the hospital.