The day Jamie died the police gave me a book, they said it contained the numbers of charities and organisations that deal with people and families that have been bereaved by suicide. And as soon as I was ready or needed them to contact them and they would be there.
Being a single parent on benefits I had things I had to do and within a set time frame or I would face penalties. Without my friends helping me I still wouldn’t have them sorted now as I still can’t focus, think or work things out.
The first few days after Jamie died are a crazy mix of people, places, things I had to decide, things I was being told, things I needed to know to make these decisions…and all I wanted to do was sit on his bed with the door closed shutting out the world and breathing in his teenage boy smell I was forever trying to clean out of his room but now was so desperate to keep in.